A Maddening World Of Ultra-Violence

The identity of the girl will remain anonymous. For her own safety, she'll be referred to as Shannon. This is her story on the choices she made to escape a maddening world of ultra-violence. Her story isn't being told to make people change their position on a certain political agenda they may have. It's just to tell her story because there are many like it.

On the morning of her abortion, the doors of the clinic were surrounded by religious folk. The type of protestors who believed God was specifically punishing the seven billion people on our planet because of decisions made by people like Shannon. The four old droogs don't have time for discussions about climate change or mental illness. To them, abortions were a butterfly effect which made really big waves and put guns in to people's hands.

Their beliefs were as dated as the clothes they wore. The height of fashion for the old grumps was during a time when Charlie Chaplin movies were the new craze. They were the walking embodiment of George Carlin's opening line at the Beacon Theater, "Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to have sex with in the first place?" ( "Have sex with," in the last sentence replaced a more sinister version of the word sex. I wouldn't want anybody's heads to melt because they read  swear words.)

Shannon and her mother walked past the old droogs and paid no mind to them. This abortion was the last chapter in her escape from a monster. The "monster" we'll speak of will be referred to as Alex. Originally Shannon and Alex wanted to keep the baby. Alex's decision making was as unpredictable as his fists though. He was El Presidente of this maddening world of ultra-violence in which Shannon held citizenship.

Alex once pounced on a person, leaving the man in a pool of his own red kroovy, for telling him to "keep it down" at a party. That was just one incident. Shannon wasn't the first girl he laid his hands on either. When an old flame found someone new, his first reaction was to attack. First he'd hit her square in the face and lay the brunt of his anger on the guy. It was an episode which was repeated over and over again for the new couple. Shannon got similar treatments from Alex. The last time Alex held Shannon in his arms, was the last time she thought she'd be alive. He clenched his arms around her neck and she barely managed to get away.

His maddening world of ultra-violence has flown under the radar of the judicial system. Even a peeping tom incident he was allegedly caught in was thrown away by the courts. For every time Alex went away, he came back days later. After the attempted strangling, Shannon could only describe the police as unprofessional. "My boyfriend had scratches all over his face and the sergeant told me he didn't believe my story and that I didn't look beat up enough," she said "Eventually, they took my story and took him to jail but I felt betrayed by the police. I called them for help and they were blaming me for his getting physical with me."

Before Shannon scheduled the abortion, she envisioned giving a child citizenship to this maddening world of ultra-violence. "During our separation and before I scheduled the abortion, I started to think about how he would react to the baby crying and how he would react to anything negative." Shannon said. "He was a very violent person so he would be a violent father."

His presence was toxic. Anything positive in her life lost its luster. Music seemed dull and "fun" became foreign. Shannon saw abortion as a means of escape. "It would have been selfish of me to bring an innocent child into a broken home with an emotionally unstable mother, a violent and unstable father, and no money or home to call his own."

The last thing Shannon heard before going under for the procedure was the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Their music gave her a brief moment of comfort after everything she'd seen. It wasn't a Disney type of happy ending but at least it was an ending. Without a baby between them, there wasn't a forced link between her and Alex.

Months after the operation she was able to continue on with her small business, get her associates degree, and continue her education. All things she couldn't have pursued with Alex in her life. "At first I felt like a murderer," she said. "But as time passes, you realize that you weren't a murderer. You were simply a mother looking out for the best of your child and you knew you could not give him everything they deserve and more. I still feel sad and guilty when I think about having the abortion, but it is a lot better than feeling that way when your child is struggling with his life, having two parents that fight, and seeing his father hit his mother and his mother continuing to stay."