Dear Dr. Deb,
Why don’t people get tested for STDs and HIV/AIDS? Are people too scared to get tested?
Thank you,
A Concerned Citizen
Dear A Concerned Citizen,
I think there are a few common reasons why people do not get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS.
- People assume that they are not at-risk. They assume that they are not the type of person to contract a sexually transmitted disease and HIV/AIDS.
- If they are in a relationship, they often feel uncomfortable asking if and when their partner has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. They also feel uncomfortable asking their partner to get tested, especially prior to sexual activity.
- Many people avoid getting tested because they would rather not know whether they have a sexually transmitted disease or HIV/AIDS. They assume that what they do not know will not hurt them.
- One of the biggest reasons people do not get tested is because of the stigma attached to walking into a clinic or health center to get tested. They are afraid that others will judge them and think that, because they are getting tested, they must have engaged in risky sexual behavior.
It is understandable that people are scared to get tested. However, I think it is even scarier not to get tested considering that
- about one in four college students have a sexually transmitted disease (www.nursing schools.net) and
- about one in five people in the United States do not know that they are infected with HIV or AIDS (www.womenshealth.gov).
So which is scarier, not getting tested or not knowing that you have a sexually transmitted disease or HIV/AIDS?
Dear Dr. Deb,
My roommate is constantly getting visited by the same guy. He is annoying and he is always there. What do I do?
Best,
Bothered
Dear Bothered,
Your roommate has the right to have guests in your room. I also think that you are entitled to not like everyone guest that your roommate invites to your room but I do not think your roommate’s friend should be excluded from visiting just because you think he is annoying. I do not think you would want your roommate to judge who can and cannot have visit based on her assessment of your friends’ personality and likeability. However, the fact that he is in your room so much seems problematic. My suggestion is for you and your roommate to designate specific times of the day when visitors are allowed. This should minimize the time that you have to share space with your roommate’s annoying friend. You also can choose to not to be in the room when he visits and avoid him altogether.
Dear Dr. Deb
At what age do you think it is appropriate to start having sex?
Sincerely,
Curiously Contemplating
Dear Curiously Contemplating,
The decision about whether to start having sex should not be taken lightly. Before having sex, both partners need to be at least the legal age to consent to have sex to avoid criminal charges. In most Western states, the legal age of consent typically falls somewhere between 14 and 16. Other important factors to consider each time before having sex is whether you are mentally, emotionally and physically ready to have sex. Only you know whether you are truly ready to take on the responsibility that comes with having sex. No one can determine this for you. The responsibility of having sex includes ensuring that you will be practicing safe sex by using a latex condom to reduce the risk of pregnancy and contracting a sexually transmitted disease of HIV/AIDS. It also means being prepared to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS on a regular basis.
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Dr. Deb is an educational psychologist who received her doctorate from UCLA. She can be heard live on Awareness Avenue every Thursday from 3 to 5pm on OWWR or seen on Awareness Avenue on OWTV. If you have any questions or issues for Dr. Deb, please send them to awarenessavenue@gmail.com.