“So this is Christmas, what have you done?” This very popular line from the Christmas song “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” always gets me thinking about what Christmas means to me. Simply put, when I think of Christmas, I think of family, friends and charity. These three things (and eggnog) always put me in the spirit.
My family in the United States didn’t start out very big. It used to be my three sisters and me along with our parents. In recent years we went from a family of six to a family of seventeen. This has made the holidays even more special around our house. Needless to say, with seven grandkids ranging in age from sixteen years to eighteen months, there is never a dull moment at Grandma’s.
My mom’s house has become our headquarters for the holidays. All seventeen of us are required to be there unless we are dead. Exceptions aren’t granted and excuses aren’t accepted. You are either present or you face the wrath of mom throughout the following year.
Like most families in the United States, Christmas starts for us the day after Thanksgiving. The tree is trimmed with the “help” of the grandkids and the stockings go up. Then the kids gather around to write letters to Santa asking for various toys and gifts and assuring him they have been “nice” or “naughty’ throughout the year.
Having migrated to the U.S. from Haiti, we have incorporated our Haitian traditions into those of the U.S. It is very important to my mom that her grandkids are familiar with their roots and know their culture. This is why they always receive some type of gift that has been imported from Haiti. The kids always light up because the gifts are usually custom made and they know no one else will have anything like it.
When I was younger, I didn’t get why my mother had made such a big fuss of having these gifts imported. After all, I found nothing charming, exciting or playful about them. In those days, I would have described them as hideous, and labeled them as atrocious. I didn’t play with them and refused to show them off to any of my friends. Now I look back and am very embarrassed at my spoiled ways and the shameful way I carried on. My only saving grace is that I saved these gifts; I am so happy I did. I now get to pass them on to my daughter and explain their significance to her. Thank God she is not the brat I was.
Even though my family is big, our circle of friends is very small. The people that are fortunate enough to be counted amongst them are just like family to us. My best friend Katie is one of those people. She always has a place at our table and her stocking hangs with the rest of ours. You see, Katie lost her mom when we were in our early teens. As an only child, life became very lonely for her. My mom took her in and she became the fifth daughter. Over the years, the holidays haven’t been the same. Katie is living in Texas and has not been “home” for the last couple of Christmases. Things have not been the same.
My mother’s house is not only headquarters for our friends and family it has, in recent years become somewhat of a surrogate home for our neighbors as well. I am not sure if it is the smell of the cremas (a Haitian variation of eggnog) or the fact that my mother is always smiling and inviting them over that has drawn the neighbors to our house in recent years. I think we have drawn such a large crowd for several reasons. My mom is that friendly lady on the block who speaks to everyone; and without a doubt the best cook on our street. Everyone knows they will be welcomed and fed. Therefore, stopping by the Francois residence has become as much a tradition as trimming the tree for my neighbors. Honestly, I think my mother enjoys having them over, more than they know.
Family and friends are great but it would not be Christmas for me without charitable work. Research shows that around the holidays a lot more people suffer from depression than any other time of year. This is due to the overwhelming obligation they feel and the pressure that is on them to buy gifts. Sadly, not everyone is able to live up to these pressures. This is why I try to donate toys, food and whatever else I am able to donate.
One of the ways I like to give back is by volunteering at the children’s hospital. Being the mother of a three year old with sickle cell disease who is constantly hospitalized, I know firsthand how difficult it is to spend the holidays in the hospital. I have done it several time and cannot recall enjoying it once. I do remember, however, all the kind people who took the time out of their lives to see to it that the kids were distracted, if only briefly, from all that ailed them. For this reason, I could not pass up the opportunity to give a fraction of what my daughter and I have been given. Making the holidays a little easier for even one person, makes me feel extremely happy and adds so much more meaning to the holidays for me.
One of my favorite traditions that has followed me from childhood into adulthood is getting all dressed up and having holiday portraits done. Ever since I was a little girl, I remember my mom taking my sisters and me to buy our holiday dresses and matching accessories. Though I did not appreciate having to wear coordinated outfits, I sure appreciated seeing the finished product. Now, I take my daughter and she enjoys it as much as I did. Only, she doesn’t have to wait weeks to see the finished product like I used to.
I would be remised to write a paper on what Christmas means to me and not mention my faith. As a Roman Catholic, I bring in Christmas at church. Midnight mass always puts everything in perspective for me. The song selections make it easy to meditate and truly take in why it is we celebrate this day. Christ is the lord, the savior and without him, there would be no Christmas. It is very easy to get caught up in the commercial value, but we must tread lightly so that the true meaning is not completely lost in our quest for material possession. As we have been told over and over again, we cannot take these possessions with us. This is why I would prefer to tell St. Peter that I gave time, encouragement, and hope to sick children and not that I gave an Xbox or Wii to someone who didn’t appreciate it or someone who forgot about it before the year was out.
As we reflect on the meaning of Christmas, we will all have different traditions and things that make the holidays special for us. For some it will be family, others will say they love buying and giving gifts and there will be some who are not afraid to admit they love to receive gifts. All of these things are a part of what makes Christmas special. I think Christmas wouldn’t be the same without these traditions. I also think that too much emphasis is put on the material side and not enough on the religious side. After all, we are celebrating the birth of our savior, the one that died on the cross so that our sins could be forgiven. The very one who turned the other cheek and kept his cool when his best friends betrayed and denounced him. If we could only follow his example, maybe our jails wouldn’t be so crowded. Maybe one man wouldn’t be homeless while another owns acres upon acres that he isn’t even occupying. If you could follow his example, maybe we wouldn’t throw away so much food every night while there are kids going to bed on an empty stomach. I say all this to remind us that it is imperative that we remember to keep “Christ” in Christmas. I am sure it wasn’t easy to be wrongly accused, then crucified, but he did it for us so that we could be forgiven. He even went as far as to set examples for us, to give us guidelines as to how we should live a “Christ” like life. All we have to do is follow them. All we have to do is be a little more tolerant, a little more generous and a little more compassionate. I can’t help but wonder how much better our world would be if we followed his example. We are living in very hard times. The world around us gets crazier and crazier everyday and he is the only one that can save us. Therefore, it would not be wise to turn our backs on him in favor of material possessions. To define the true meaning of Christmas, I always examine how closely I am following his example. I am doing ok, but could always be better. How about you?